Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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