dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
