That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
