So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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