You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
kristin has been a bad kristin
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
