Me too!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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