Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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