he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
