I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
