what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
