you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do vagina's smell?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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