batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize