like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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