I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
