Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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