They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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