Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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