So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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