THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
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On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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