my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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