the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
