I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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