Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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