I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
