3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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