Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
