She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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