I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
