Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
