so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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