marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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