How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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