Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
