We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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