Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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