It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
