his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
