We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm lost and stupid without you.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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