Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
