You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just high enough for therapy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
