i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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