..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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