in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
