you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
