so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
