He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
