His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
