I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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