I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
