I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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