part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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