Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
