I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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