if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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