my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
