Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
